how to cope with anxiety and other chaotic moments

If you’ve been on a journey to figure out how to cope with anxiety… Here’s my personal 3-step ritual for dealing with the chaotic moments of life. I hope this post serves you and supports you in some small way!

As someone who has dealt with her share of anxiety and dreadful moments of pure panic, chaos, and doom taking way too much space in her mind — if that’s where you’re at right now, or occasionally, or often, I feel you.

And I’ve got you.

Please keep in mind that I am NOT a medical professional or mental health expert, merely someone sharing her experiences. 

I share these chaotic, harrowing moments of humanness, my personal experiences and what works for me, because if it benefits just one person reading this now or in the future, that is enough. That is everything. So here we go.

I have been free of actual panic attacks for a couple of years now, for which I am deeply grateful. 

But I still experience some pretty scary moments of anxiety and panic-like chaos in my life here and there. Scary, but manageable.

I can accept it, I can learn to approach it in a way that serves me, and I can choose to not let any of it massively affect me or my day, mood, or energy.

I can get back up and breathe and keep going.

Which is all that matters, at the end of the day.

You can be the hottest fucking mess in the world and feel like your entire being and essence and existence is completely consumed by chaos and fear and any struggles you might be dealing with…

And still guide yourself to the space of knowing and trusting that actually.

You are okay. 

You will always be okay.

And you can do this.

None of this defines you. This does not hold power over you. This does not get to dictate what you do or do not do with your one beautiful existence in this world.

So… Having experienced one of these moments just about an hour ago, I wanted to write you this and share how I deal with days and moments like this. I hope this serves you in some small way.

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How to cope with anxiety and other chaotic moments of humanness

1 — Feel the fucking feelings. 

There’s that initial rush of… everything, that comes right when the panic or anxiety or fear floods in.

So let it come. Instead of sinking into the oh my god I can’t and your body collapsing into no no no oh boy this is it we’re finally dying — take a beat and make a small conscious choice to just… feel it. 

Okay, I’m going to feel my emotions right now. I’m going to take a minute to feel them so I can release them. I’m going to fall apart a little, and cry and shake and tremble, because that is my body’s natural way of releasing energy. Releasing emotions. Releasing this fear. Releasing this anxiety. And that is a safe thing to do. I can give myself a moment to feel and release my emotions, and it is not a big deal.

And then do just that. Honor your need to do this. Yes, sometimes these moments come at inconvenient times, but if you can… take five minutes for yourself. If you cannot, make the space to do this at later in the day.

You can FEEL and release this initial burst of emotion and energy in whatever way best suits you. 

Crying, which is the most natural way for humans to release emotions.

Working with your breath is a great tool — I’d especially recommend a simple breathing exercise called the physiological sigh. Breathe in twice through your nose, and then release the exhale once through your mouth letting out a big sigh.

You can learn more here:

Other great way to release is to physically shake your body, limbs, hands, stomp your feet, swing your body around, with the intention of releasing and letting go of energy.

A short somatic yoga sequence is a great option for this:

2 — Connect to your anchor and guide yourself back to a state of calm

Once you’re past that initial flood of emotions and feel slightly more energetically stable, you can start grounding yourself back into the truth.

In my own experience earlier today, once I had cried and breathed and released that initial burst of anxious and fearful energy, I talked to the divine.

In other words, prayed. 

I like to just rant to the divine forces of love all around me. I give them my burdens. I give up the fear. I ask for help and guidance. I ask for strength and courage to get me through. And I give them my trust.

I practice surrender.

One of my most essential core beliefs is that I am always going to be okay. Everything is always going to work out. I am always going to be safe.

It’s very easy to forget about that and let go of that trust and knowing when you’re in the acute moment of anxiety. So it’s my job to remind myself and ground myself back into this divine, universal, unequivocal truth.

I am always going to be okay.

You are always going to be okay.

You are always going to be safe.

Everything is always going to work out for you.

You are loved. You are supported. You are guided.

And all the divine forces in this universe are here to help you, support you, guide you, and walk with you, if you so desire.

Figure out your version of this. Some kind of a higher truth that you can tap into and where you can root yourself when you need something more powerful than you to carry you.

Something that reminds you of how truly loved and okay and safe you are, so you can find your way back to yourself.

Borrow mine or use whatever words work for you and your own belief system. It’s all just semantics.

You can speak out loud, to the walls, like me, and embrace the slightly deranged mad woman energy of it.

You can meditate on it quietly in your mind. You can journal in a poetic rageful way. You can sing. You can talk to a friend, therapist, loved one, your pet, your plants, your antique figurines.

You can do whatever the fuck feels good and right for you.

I’d also like to remind you that this is a practice. 

I’ve been practicing these things for years. It’s not always easy.

Right now, as in today, it only takes me a few minutes to fully ground myself and feel calm and relatively okay. It used to take hours and days.

If you struggle, that’s okay. Keep practicing and keep going.

If none of this helps you at all, I hope you find ways that DO work for you in the times when you most need some calm. If you think this is absolute garbage, this post is not for you, and I hope you find someone whose guidance supports you more.

3 — Continue honoring what you need at this time

After I cried, practiced breahtwork, prayed and talked to the divine and connected back to my core truth, I got on my mat. I got sweaty. With a really challenging workout.

Because I KNOW from experience that this is what works for me. 

Engaging in any kind of movement — be it yoga, dance, weight lifting, going for a run or a really long walk in nature — allows you to ground into your physical body and this present moment. It helps you to continue releasing any energy and emotion that you’re ready to let go of.  

And here I am right now, having received a burst of creativity after my workout, writing this.

After I’m done, I’ll cook myself a nourishing meal, drink plenty of water, and rest.

What do you need? What would support you the most right now? 

Instead of growing into the habit of fearing these moments and giving all of your power, time, and energy to them…

You can choose to practice acceptance, and honor yourself by learning what helps you the most. How you can support yourself. How you can tend to your needs.

By getting to know yourself fully — body, mind, and soul — you can build a set practice you can go to when you need something to lean on.

You are so much more powerful than you give yourself credit for. 

You’re not a fuckup or a failure for feeling a lot of things.

Sometimes it’s like the anxiety or panic or darkness disappears for a while and when it returns, maybe even stronger than before… It feels like a cruel joke. Like you’re going backwards. Like ‘Oh. Of course. Of course it was too good to be true.’

You are not backsliding or falling apart. Being a human is complicated. It is painful at times.

But there’s nothing ‘bad’ about having negative feelings and emotions and experiences.

They don’t define you in any way. They don’t hold power over you, or your dreams and desires.

You are a glorious human being on a magnificent journey on this earth and that journey entails moments of chaos and instability and mental hurdles. 

But you are here.

You are still here.

And you are doing a good job.

And you can handle it. You always have, and you always will.

You did not come here to give all your power away to fear and anxiety. 

You came here to fucking shine and know just how divine and magical you are. 

So get on it.

I’m sending you so much love.

Viivi

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