how to cope with overwhelm: you’re not failing or falling apart, you’re just having a day

Ever have those days of complete overwhelm and exhaustion? In this post, I share my personal process and how I shift my mindset so I can cope with overwhelm and move through it all with grace.

Ever have those days of complete overwhelm and exhaustion? Here's how to cope with overwhelm with a simple 3 step process.

You ever have one of those days when you’re overwhelmed pretty much from the moment you wake up?

Everything feels like too much, you can barely breathe, and your entire being is consumed by lists and tasks and dread and delusions?

I say delusions cause that’s what they are, false tales and illusions created by your fearful human mind when you’re in a state of mental and emotional chaos.

The overwhelm is exhausting. Thinking about everything you have to do, and everything you WANT to do, and what it would take to move closer to your dreams and the reality you’re here to create for yourself… It’s just all too much.

Just the everyday tasks to take care of yourself and your basic wellbeing feels like too much.

Falling apart is so much easier.

And often just having that small passing thought… feels like failing.

Which often makes you spiral down down down and feel even lower.

Makes you feel like perhaps you’re just not really cut out for it after all.

Maybe this falling apart is for the last time and you should just quit.

Maybe you really are a failure.

We all have those days. I had one just a couple days ago. And with my anxious mind and tendency to get easily overwhelmed, I acknowledge that those days will keep coming. I will keep feeling all those feelings, and I will keep experiencing the falling apart and dread of failure.

But I also acknowledge that having those days and feeling those things are just part of being human.

And if that’s the case, and it is… Maybe it just isn’t such a big deal. Maybe I can live with that.

If that feels impossible for you right now, maybe you can begin by simply practicing being okay with it.

Here’s what I want you to know and remember and hold onto the next time you wake up feeling it all and it’s all just too much to deal with:

You are not failing.

You are not falling apart. You might feel like you are, right here in this moment, but it is just a moment, and it will not last forever.

You are doing a good job. You are doing your best. And that is enough.

Today, I wanted to share with you how I move through the days when everything is too much, and I feel consumed by overwhelm. I hope you find it helpful.

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How to cope with overwhelm and move through it with grace

1 — Give yourself permission to just… take the day.

We all have our own specific life circumstances and responsibilities, so just do your best to your capacity. Give yourself the day to feel your feelings, be human, be vulnerable, be a hot mess.

But do this with the intention, and inner knowing, and the conscious decision that you are not going to wallow in this forever. You’re not going to let this consume you and your energy for days.

You can take your power back by giving yourself this space and acknowledging that this is just a moment. You’ve had these moments before. And they always pass. You know this.

It is just a day. It is just a moment of being human and feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. And it doesn’t mean anything about you or your capabilities.

So what if you just take it a little bit easier today? What if you go slower today?

What if you don’t get to every single thing your mind is screaming at you to do today? What if you don’t achieve it all, complete it all, get to it all?

Would it really cause your world to crumble down?

What is the worst thing that would happen, if you gave yourself some grace, and slowness, and rest today?

Is it really the end of the world if you allow yourself to listen to your body, your heart, your needs today? If you treat yourself with some compassion, kindness, and understanding?

It is not. You might doubt me, but really… It is not. You can get to it later. It will all wait for you later.

You are allowed to be human. You are allowed to have these days. You are allowed to take these moments for yourself.

Once you give yourself that permission to just be for the day, without shaming or guilt-tripping yourself into oblivion…

**2 — Shift your focus to what you can do today.**

What is something that you actually do have the energy and capacity to put some effort into? What is something that’s in your control in this moment? When you look at all the things overwhelming you and looming over you, what is something that is doable right now?

Instead of completing every single task on your neverending to do list, what actually needs to get done today? Can you ask for help? Can you make it easier somehow?

Instead of cleaning the entire house, can you just do the laundry, or clean the kitchen?

Instead of going all in on your health goals, can you commit to simply making a healthy meal today? Going for a walk? Taking a mellow yoga class? Making sure you get to bed early tonight and let yourself fully rest and recover?

Instead of completing the entire project and making sure it’s absolute perfection RIGHT NOW… can you let yourself take a fucking break? Does it all NEED to be done today? Does it all need to be done by you? Does it all have to be so perfect, right now, in this moment? Would it be okay if you give it 30 minutes today and make a plan for the rest of the week? Could you be okay with that?

Journaling is a great way to get everything out of your head onto the paper so you can take a clear look at whatever is going on in your mental and emotional landscape and start making sense of it.

So you can refocus. To what you actually can do. What is manageable and within your capacity today.

3 — Once you have clarity, make space for what you need right now.

How can you nurture and nourish yourself today? What do you need right now?

What does your body, your mind, your spirit need from you right now?

What is something intentional that you know is going to help you feel just slightly better, lighter, more grounded?

What’s going to make you feel held and supported?

I like to keep a page in my journal listing all the things that fill my cup, bring me peace, bring me joy.

You can keep a list on your phone reminders or notes, or use sticky notes on the fridge, whatever helps you to actually return to those practices and habits that most support you in times of chaos, exhaustion, and overwhelm.

This is the 3-step process I return to, when I’m slipping into a state of overwhelm.

When I catch myself in mental chaos, overthinking, starting to feel like I’m falling apart. Not doing enough, not being good enough, not going anywhere.

When I need to catch myself before I fall further.

When I need to give myself some grace.

I know how easy it is to give in to that dread, and overwhelm, and exhaustion. Feeling consumed by it all, like you’ve lost control, like you’re failing, like you’ve fucked it all up.

But instead of letting yourself be crushed under all that, often self-imposed, pressure and expectations and doing it all right now…

You have a choice. You can give yourself permission to slow down, take a step back, and breathe.

What is something you can do, no matter how small it is?

And maybe today… it’s nothing. Maybe today, you simply need to rest and replenish your energy.

And maybe you need to practice being okay with that.

Taking that space doesn’t make you a bad person, or a failure, or a lost cause.

It doesn’t mean that you’re falling apart or behind or ruining everything and losing all the progress you’ve previously made.

It actually doesn’t mean anything about you or define you in any way.

It just means you’re a human being having a human moment.

You are doing a good job. You are safe. You are okay. And you are always, always going to be okay.

So breathe. Give yourself the day to just be.

Can you let yourself go slower today?

What can you do today?

What do you need to feel better and give yourself some grace and support?

And if everything in this post creates anger or resistance within you… Reflect on that.

What in you is telling you that you don’t deserve to listen to yourself, take care of yourself, or give yourself what you need? What in you says that you’re unworthy of simply slowing down and giving yourself a little bit of space and extra love when you most need it?

I hope this message supports and serves you in some small way.

Sending you all the love.